Am I Charlie Brown's Mother? oh, and Family Worship

A few months ago, my hubby and I attended a Ted Tripp conference.  He is the author of
Shepherding A Child's Heart and Instructing A Child's Heart.

We visited the church of a friend before my first son was born and a gentleman gave us a copy of Shepherding A Child's Heart.  I tell you that  it was one of the best gifts I have ever received.  If you haven't read it, you must.  Then you need to read Ginger Plowman's take on Shepherding and read "Don't Make Me Count To Three".  And then you absolutely have to read Instructing A Child's Heart.

These books encourage and teach Heart Oriented Discipline, focusing on a child's heart, not just changing behavior!

Back to what I am supposed to be blogging about.

I left the conference so very encouraged and even more convicted about our responsibility in raising our boys. 

I felt convicted to pray for and with my boys each morning when they wake up.   We pray that God will help them to obey and be respectful (things we are focusing on) because we know that these glorify Him.  I can honestly tell you that doing this helps us all to start the day with "happy hearts". 

I felt encouraged to focus more on Formative Instruction.  In other words, teaching Micah what is expected before the problem, influencing him rather than exuding authority, explaining in ways that make sense to him.  Ted reminded me that I sound like Charlie Brown's mother "whah, whah, whah, whah" when I wait to try to explain/teach when I am disciplining Micah.  He doesn't care what I am saying, he just wants to know what his consequence is. Ah Hah!!!!  So that's what the glazed over eyes, looking through me, gone to your happy place face is!

My husband talked on the way home and the BIGGEST thing we BOTH felt convicted about...it was obvious that God was laying it on our hearts together...was our lack of Family Worship!

Let me just tell you that when Mr. Tripp was talking about this, I felt really silly when I thought about what it must look like.  I know that is terrible but I am being honest here.  It sounded a little hokey.  I admitted this to my hubby and instead of thinking bad of me he explained that it was probably going to feel weird at first.  Since it was something we had NEVER tried.  We vowed to make it work for us, we knew the benefits would outweigh the "feeling silly" and ultimately it would glorify God.

You see, one thing that really struck me.  One thing that pricked my heart. Made it heavy. Then turned it warm and content was my prayer over this:  "If you are not impressed with God, if you are not in His word....your children will not be!"  "Show your children life, through the lens of God's Word, and God's Ways!!!"

I know this is getting long so I will wrap it up.  This is what works for us.  It may not work for you, but I pray that you will find something that does.  It felt silly at first, but it is just part of our nightly routine now.  Some nights we don't do it, and that is ok.  We are trying.  I have seen my boy settle, be still, listen.  I see a love for singing and praying to the Lord.  It has changed my own heart.  I have learned.  I have been more focused on Him.
Our "ingredients"
1. Daddy opens us in prayer. We settle down.
2.  Micah's bible. We read a bible lesson.
3.  Seeds Family Worship CD  "Songs of Faith". We sing one of these, for a whole week. Micah plays his play guitar.
4.  Weekly church bulletin.  We sing the childrens song from this.  We sing the same song for a whole week.  Micah plays his play guitar some more.
5.  Prayer.  We take turns praying for what God has laid on our hearts.

Please leave a comment and tell me about your family worship.  It doesn't have to look like mine.  If you don't do a family worship, I encourage you to give it a try, even one night a week.  I never saw myself doing this, but I am so glad we tried it!

Get Real!!!

I came across a blog post today that I really needed to read.  I really needed reminding.  I really needed to recommit myself to something I discovered a year ago.  I ask you first to read it here.   Her name is Katie and she has no idea the inspiration she gives me.  I also love love love her menu planning blog  Meal Planning Mommies that she hosts with several other moms.  The recipes are easy and so yummy!

So hopefully you have read her Behold the Mom post now, and you will understand what I am talking about.

About a year ago I really struggled with juggling a toddler and keeping my home clean, oh and also keeping us fed.  I was mortified when someone dropped by unannounced.  When said unannounced family or friend dropped by, I opened the door and uttered something along the lines of what Katie said in her post....

"Hi. Welcome! I am so sorry the house is a mess, we have had a crazy day and there was just no time to pick it up. I am so embarrassed."  

Actually, I just cleaned the house in a huge hurry and sacrificed time with my children, yelled at them even for getting in the way when I could have been loving on them, but I don't want you to know that. I want you to think that I have it all together, that on top of being able to parent, have hobbies, and tutor your kid I also can keep a immaculate house. I want you to think that I am amazing and I want you to like me. Somehow if my house is clean, but I pretend that I think it is dirty you will think I am one heck of a gal and like me.

Could not have said it better myself, Katie!

I got better.  I started leaving the laundry basket full of clean but unfolded clothes on the couch.  I started leaving the dishes in the sink.  I started letting my house be lived in, and liking it.  

I stopped assuming that if the house were not perfectly picked up when my hubby got home, he would think I had been taking day-long bubble baths and watching soaps!  I stopped apologizing for being me, since I didn't mean it anyway.  

Now don't get me wrong.  I pick up.  I just don't necessarily do it any more just because someone is coming over.  I started giving myself permission to Get Real!

Well, here was my favorite part of her post.

I want you to find freedom, true freedom. This is found in Jesus Christ. What he did, he did for you. Within his heart, bared and open and hiding nothing, can be found one prevailing thing of which he carries no shame~ love abounding for you and me. Behold HIM.

This is How I Blog

A friend of mine from church recently set her blog to private.  She no longer has to use code names for her husband and children.  I like that.  Because sometimes I forget.  When she sent me an email notification concerning this, it inspired me.  Not to set mine to private, yet, but to blog again.  I haven't done it in months, and I miss the writing, the sharing, the me.

Seconds after I felt inspired, I felt overwhelmed.  When am I going to blog?????

Lets see.  I could do it first thing in the morning.  But lets get real.  I rarely am disciplined enough to get up and do my quiet time in the mornings.  It usually ends up being my not so quiet time while a little someone is momentarily (and I do mean momentarily) preoccupied.

Hmmm. What about naptime?  Maybe.  I could squeeze it in there with all the other things to get done that can't safely be done with my adorable shadow.

Well, in the evenings then?  Yes, but I would be staying up really late and missing some of the precious time my hubby and I get to spend together.

After much, very interrupted thought, I concluded that I will blog
1. when I have something to blog about
2. when I have a chance

I formerly tried to blog every day, or once a week.  It didn't work for me.  I am inspired to pick it back up.  When it works for me!

Bad Dreams

This morning I woke up with a pit in my stomach. That sick feeling I sometimes wake up with and for a moment I don't know why I feel so depressed and lonely. I had a bad dream.

Sometimes I have a terrible dream and my hubby has to wake me up out of it because I am crying. Once in awhile he is surprised to find that I am angry with him in my dream and I not so gently express to him "DON'T TOUCH ME!!!!!" After a few minutes I am fine and we laugh about it. I tell him all about my dream and secretly it makes me want to squeeze him even more because I know the things I dreamed are so out of character for both of us.

Don't get me wrong, I don't have bad dreams all the time. Just the other morning, I dreamed that I was chatting it up with Matt Damon. (nothing sexual...get your minds out of the gutter ladies). I don't even find him attractive, but it was quite the pleasant dream for some reason. Thanks Mama for calling and waking me from this one abruptly.

This morning it was not pleasant.

I woke up depressed and lonely. I dreamed that my husband had signed up for the Army Reserve without telling me. Ludicrous I know. The really bad part was that he had been called up to go for a tour of duty to Iraq. All I remember is telling him goodbye and being over at my parents home, they were consoling me. I was so angry with him. I was screaming and wailing and pitiful. In my dream, my heart was broken.

When I woke up at 7:16am. I laid there thinking about what I could remember of it. My mind started to wander. I started to really consider what that dream would feel like as a reality. I thought about what I would do without my husband everyday. I started to consider the real Mommies and wives who are waking up each morning without their husbands because they are serving.

I didn't pause enough on Memorial Day. I didn't think and pray as hard as I should have. I was just happy to have my hubby off of work that day, and home with us.

To all the women who wake up like this each morning. I'm going to start praying for you. I don't know what I would do in your shoes. I want this war to be over and for our guys to come home. To all the wives and husbands of these courageous men and women, I am thankful for your strength and sacrifice those soldiers can serve our country. So that we can have all that we do, that I take for granted.

There are so many times I catch myself complaining.

Since the beginning of this new year, we have frequently found ourselves...

waiting in the doctor's office sick room
waiting in the doctor's office exam room
waiting for a prescription to be filled
waiting to hear back from the insurance company

I could go on....but I would just be complaining again.

I started to get sick of waiting. Then I got that feeling. You know the one. God speaking to me, convicting me of my stupid unwarranted complaining.

Then I bowed my head and I thanked my Lord and Savior that my child lives in a country where medication is so easily available. I thanked Him that I had a doctor's office to visit, that it wasn't made out of mud and sticks, and that my son would receive medication quickly. I thanked Him that I wouldn't have to worry about him dying from a mosquito bite. I thanked Him that we had insurance and that the medication we would buy for him would not keep us from eating or paying or mortgage this month. I prayed for the many who right here in the U.S. go without health insurance.

I thanked Him for vaccinations that would keep my child from living with Post-Polio like my Granddaddy does.

I suddenly didn't mind waiting so much.

Back in Perspective

I just finished checking one of my favorite blogs, wearethatfamily and it hit me.

I have been complaining way too much about the Wook being sick with a cold,ear infection, teething. I have been back in my little woe is me bubble.

Kristen asked for prayer for some blogland babies and I started exploring. I read about these families who are going through heartbreak over the serious illnesses their children battle. One little girl is going home only to get ready to go home to be with the Lord. Thank God these families have Him. They all praise Him through these times.

I felt small. I felt self centered. I felt sick. Sick for all the times I whine and complain about missing sleep when Wook has had a cold. Guilty for all the complaints about doctor visits and waiting. Sick that I take so much for granted. I have been so self centered.

I bowed my head and thanked God for our health. For the health of my child. I asked that these families would feel His loving arms around them. I don't know them but I cried for them. Each one. I thanked God for giving me perspective this morning.

I have had that perspective before. That October I prayed more in those 3 weeks than I ever have. I grew in my relationship with Him like I never have. I got angry and asked why her. I tried to make deals. And then I felt His arms. For the first time I didn't pray for what I wanted. I prayed for whatever would save her. He did. She pulled through it. One "robot leg" later. She is tough and my "favorite girlfriend".

Sometimes I forget what that kind of closeness to Him feels like. I said I would never let it go. I take that for granted too. That is the only way these people can be getting through this.

I want to go in Wookie's room and pick him up from his peaceful nap and hold him close to me. Feel his breath on my neck. Rub his back and look at his beautiful long eyelashes. Honestly, even though it is so hard sometimes I too believe God. He will take care of these babies. And mine too.